A text was received my Joni on Monday (12/27) that her and Molly met w/ Anna the night before. It appears at this current time that Anna is leaning more towards parenting than adoption. It is definitely a difficult decision for a 16 yr old to make. Her parents are more for the adoption but are not really pushing Anna in that direction. The agency introduced Anna to a few other birthmom's that had chosen adoption for their children as a support system. The agency is going to try to touch base w/ Anna again later this week and then they will discuss the situation with us. Though the news wasn't exactly what we were looking to hear, it was nice that we are finding out now rather than after the baby is born. It is better to find out sooner rather than later.

Well... after still no news w/ Anna, I decided it may be good to get our information from the agency (homestudy, contracts, etc) to review. We really have not been satisfied with our experience with Choice Network. I requested the information from Molly and advised her that we are not transferring to another agency at this time, but want the information for our records. I received an email today from Molly advising she wants to set up a time for me and Derek to meet with her and Joni and discuss our concerns. She is aware we are not happy w/ their lack of communication. It is frustrating because when we talk to Molly it almost feels like she tries to turn things around on us. Her email discussed how other adoptive families have to wait between 24-26 months to receive a Caucasian infant. I contacted Molly & Joni after reading their email and explained to them that we are not planning on transferring agencies at this time but that their communication needs to get better. I explained how difficult it has been on me and derek and how much of a rollercoaster of emotions we have been on since this thing started. We feel as though the agency supports the birthmoms but does not support us. After speaking to Joni, I definitely feel more confident and comfortable about the situation. Joni does an excellent job and is working very hard for us to be matched with a birthmom. They are going to meet with Anna at the end of the week. Hopefully we'll hear something then...

Still no real news, but I figured I would type a message to update. We are hoping to reschedule with Anna in the next week or so. Joni is still confident that Anna is very much excited about the adoption but we can't help but be cautious (due to our track record).

With the holidays around the corner, it is hard not to think about how blessed we are to have a great support system of friends and family. I know that we could not go through this process without the wonderful people in our lives. There are still those that are skeptic and think we should go a different route for starting our family, but the majority are supportive. I had a co-worker get so excited to talk to me on Monday to find out how Friday went. Of course she was bummed to find out that nothing happened on Friday, but it felt good to know that she cared and was thinking about us :o)

I found out another co-worker's wife just found out that she is pregnant. He was scared to tell me, due to our own circumstances and what we've been through... I always find it funny when people are scared or nervous to tell me they are pregnant or their wife is pregnant. If anything... I'm the exact opposite of being angry or mad... I'm excited because them being pregnant indicates they don't have to go through what we are going through. And from a first hand experience, is not easy by any means. I definitely wouldn't wish it on ANYONE. So if it takes another couple a very short amount of time to get pregnant, it makes me happy :o) I explained to him that the only time I get frustrated or bummed out is when I find out about single mom's getting pregnant or those that can't afford the kids they have yet choose to have more kids. Those situations are frustrating to me and sometimes make me wonder "why them and not us?" Other than that... I'm happy for others that are having kids (of course I do have a small jealous bone, but I try to keep it as small as possible ;o)

2/2 :o( Got a text from Joni yesterday that Anna was sick and not going to be able to meet w/ us today. Just our luck. Doesn't seem like anything can go smooth for us. It is definitely frustrating. I guess Anna's mom is still confident she is going through with the adoption but has the flu. With our past history with Nikita, it is hard not to think other things. I guess they were able to measure Anna's baby and she is only around 31 weeks prego. Which means she has more time to meet us and potentially the other adoptive families too. Sometimes we feel as though the agency and these birthmoms only care about themselves and don't realize what they are putting us through. I think of this like a job interview almost. If it was an interview where I really wanted the job, the last thing I would do would be to call and reschedule due to illness :o/