Oh what a frustrating weekend :o( Unfortunately, to say the least, we have not been very satisfied w/ the agency. After not hearing anything from Joni on Friday I texted her Friday night to see if she was going to call Nikita on Sat... but i didn't hear anything back. So I waited around and called her on Saturday around 1:30pm and left her a voicemail to call me back... but i didn't hear anything back. After not hearing anything on Saturday or anything this morning. Derek finally texted Joni around 4:30 and asked her if she heard anything from Nikita. Joni finally replied that she was going to call Nikita on Monday. So we'll see... I completely understand if Joni wasn't able to get in contact with Nikita or Nikita wasn't feeling very well or up to talking, but at least keep us in the loop and let us know. The communication with the agency has been absolutely horrible. We were both hoping things would change when Joni was going to be the one communicating with us, but I'm starting to think that's not the case. It is frustrating because we've already invested so much time and money, most of which we wouldn't get back. If we left and went to a different agency we would probably be at the bottom of the list and there is no way to guarantee that things would be different... Needless to say, we are very frustrated :o( I knew it wouldn't be easy, but this just sucks

Well... after patiently waiting all night... I got on Facebook and saw that Joni dropped her phone in water, had to get a new phone, and lost all her numbers. Just our luck! So I texted Joni my number and she advised that her and Mollie called Nikita but her uncle answered the phone and stated she was sleeping and not feeling well. She was not taking any visitors or phone calls. So, bottom line... we still don't know the sex of the baby. We may find out today...

Well... its about 5:45 and we still have not heard what gender the baby will be... Ahhh!! The suspense! Maybe we should learn some patience before we have this kid, lol. Last word from Joni was that Nikita had her ultrasound yesterday and we should get updated by today... tick-tock tick-tock... I did talk to Mollie yesterday. I guess Nikita is nervous that we will back out. I had to let her know that we have no intentions on going anywhere or choosing any other birth mom. We do ask a lot of questions, but a lot of that is because we are nervous about being new parents, not because we are nervous about Nikita. It is definitely challenging because the whole adoption process is based on trust. We have to trust that Nikita won't back out and will be healthy and take care of herself. We have to trust that she will release all information she knows about the birth father and how each of her appointments go. I think there will always be a slight fear that she will back out or not tell us something that she feels will make us change our minds. Though I have never been pregnant, I definitely think it's a lot different than giving birth myself. I know I would take good care of myself and do everything the doctors told me to do. I have to trust that Nikita would do the same. And though we have never met Nikita... I also have to trust that the agency knows her well enough to provide us with accurate information... total craziness!! and the anticipation of finding out the gender continues.... sigh...

Well... I got a text from Joni (the intern who will be directly involved in the communication between us and Nikita). She advised the ultrasound on Thursday went well, but still couldn't see the gender. I think this kid is trying to teach me patience...(ain't goin' to happen, lol). She said the heartbeat sounded good. Nikita has the ultrasound pictures and will be giving them to Joni in about 2 weeks and then Joni will meet with us. Can't wait! I feel like it's not ''real'' until we get the pictures! She will have her last ultrasound on Nov 4th. So hopefully we'll be able to find out the gender then (fingers crossed). It's funny because we had names picked out, but now that we know we have been matched, new names are popping up and its making it difficult to decide. I go back and forth between which gender I would prefer (granted it really doesn't make a difference either way). I know Derek and Steve (Derek's dad) really want a boy, but I know my mom and family want a girl (since I have 4 nephews and 1 niece). Seems like all my friends are having boys, so a boy would give them someone to play w/ but then a girl would be nice because it would be different. Who knows?!? lol... I'll let you know when I find out more!

P.S. Found a quote online today "Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother"- Oprah Winfrey.... so I put my own spin on it "Being a parent involves more than just Biology"-Maggie Beggs :oP

Well... it's official and it feels great!! Due date Feb 14th! The birth mom's name is Nakita. She's 23. She has 2 boys right now, one is 6 and the other is 3. Her kids are her world and she wants the best life for them, which is amazing. She spends a lot of time with them and is involved with their school and part of the PTO. She realizes that she cannot afford another child financially and she is unable to give them what they need. She is getting governmental assistance now and decided it would be best for her unborn child to give them up for adoption. I have a lot of respect for her in making that decision. So we have officially been matched with Nakita. She had a doctor's appt a few days ago to find out the sex but the umbilical cord was in the way and they couldn't tell. She was going back in today to find out, but we haven't heard anything yet :o) She has said that she wants us to be in the delivery room with her and she has said she does not want to hold the baby after its born because its not 'her' baby it will be 'ours'. Which I think is really neat. I'm sure it is going to be difficult for her, but she is preparing herself and has a lot of support from the agency. Although it's not 100% for sure with adoption, we are very excited and confident that it will go through :o) Thanks for the prayers! I'll keep everyone updated when we get the word on the gender!

Ok Folks, I realize it's been a while since I posted everything. Part of that was because neither me or Derek heard anything from Molly. Of course we became frustrated. Our friend Terrie (who also works with Molly) has been wonderful and very encouraging. We explained that even if there isn't any real "news" to share, it would still be nice to receive a phone call, email or letter, explaining that she is still working on finding us a birth mom. We took a huge risk with choosing Molly to be by our side during this journey. We knew that the other birth mom did not chose us, but we never knew whether she still had a successful adoption with the other family. We found out the answer was yes (which was very comforting and we are happy for them). The other birth mom that was due around the 20th of August, took their baby home and decided not to adopt. We couldn't help but wonder if Molly's lack of commitment had played a role in that or not, we will never know.

We got a call from Molly on Wednesday, Sept 1st. She advised us that she had just gotten in touch w/ a birth mom that was going to be induced on Friday Sept 3rd. The baby would be bi-racial, and the mother had smoked pot and drank alcohol while pregnant. She also had not taken any prenatal vitamins, as she should have. We thought about the situation, and unfortunately decided to wait. We both really want an all Caucasian baby, but also didn't want to take the chances of the baby having complications due to the mothers stupidity. We did end up getting a card in the mail that basically encouraged us to keep our chin high.

September 30th (my birthday) we got another call from Molly. She advised us that her intern Joni had been working with a birth mom that is due in February. The birth mom decided to trust in Joni to chose her an adoptive family. Joni decided to pick us!!! So we are officially "expecting"! We are sooo excited. Words cannot express the feeling. We are going to meet with Joni on Thursday and I will fill in a little bit more information then :o) Thanks for the prayers!

Unfortunately there are no updates to share, but I didn't want everyone to think I had forgotten to post. I have not heard anything from Molly since the last call when she told us we were not chosen. Needless to say, me and Derek are both very frustrated at this point that she has not contacted us. Derek did text her a few times last week but she didn't really say much. The birth parents for the baby girl due around the 20th of August were not sure if they wanted to go through with the adoption or not, so from my knowledge, no adoptive parents have met them yet (which I completely understand). We haven't heard anything else about the birth moms due in August and January. On the positive side, the longer it takes to have the baby, the longer we have to save up the money for it. When the baby is born we have to pay an additional $5,000. Then 6 months after the baby is born we will owe an additional $5,000. It's definitely not cheap! Save, save, save :o) Hopefully we will hear some good news soon!